Reasons for the Racing of Our Hearts

My heart races for no reason sometimes.
I sit in one place and,
I don’t think of anything,
Nothing detrimental,
Or stressful,
Or crazy,
Or life changing;
But for some strange reason,
My body springs into action spurred on,
By the vacant thoughts and,
Unassuming environment in which I find myself;
I sit and my heart races,
My mind races,
My ears pound from the sound of blood racing;
Everything races.
Everything races except for me.
I sit still and count the minutes until the race stops;
Will I win this race,
Or will my mind surpass me;
Who wins;
I ask myself this every time the racing starts but,
It feels like no one wins;
The race has simply been paused,
Like a video game when you need to get up,
Stretch your legs,
Crack you knuckles, and
Go pee before the race resumes;
It’s intense and it takes over everything,
It takes over everything,
Until the race is paused,
And my mind remembers.
I remember.
I sit here and the race stops.
My blood doesn’t pound in my ears.
My breathing slows.
My mind quiets.
I sit in one place,
Thinking of nothing.
Nothing important,
Or pressing,
And for some strange reason,
My mind forgets why it was racing,
Speeding toward oblivion.
My surroundings still until I can see everything.
The sunlight streaming through the leaves,
And the branches on the trees above me.
Someone laughs into a carefree conversation.
There is no race here.
Not until I lock eyes with a girl,
Sitting there and thinking of nothing.
Nothing but the races.
I watch the moment when it pauses.
She looks around at the sudden stillness,
Just as confusing as the,
Disillusion of the race that was there just a moment ago.
She sees the way the sunlight streams,
It’s rays falling across the space between us.
Our eyes linger for a moment.
In this moment, I have enough time,
To tell her that my mind races too.
But not enough time to convey that this time it’s because,
The color of her eyes and,
The beauty of her smile,
Make my heart race.

~Kayla Shea Rdesinski


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